eyesofanangel

Denna handlar om Alice när hon hittar bellas självmordsbrev:(

Denna har också flera kapitel, 5 :D

Last Goodbye:

I missed Bella. I missed her always-so-human point of view, I missed my friend. Maybe it was right for us to leave, but Edward should`ve stayed with her. To comfort her, to make sure she`s ok and she doesn`t blame herself for Jasper`s attack. But no one has the power to change his mind, once he has made something up. Edward thought it`d be safer for the girl if he left her and there was nothing to do for us to prove him wrong.

Last time I saw my brother, we were at Tanya`s place. He looked.. awful, terrible, I don`t even have a name for it. And I knew it hurt everyone to see him like that. But it was his choice, he knew he`d hurt, and he still chose to leave. There was no way we could help him. He moved around like a sleepwalker with no obvious target; there was no end to his night. He was sad, but his depression was like a hundred times more intense than any human`s.

We all tried not to think of Edward`s pain and the little human girl who once had made him so happy, but he never left our thoughts, since our minds are wider than human`s mind. Every day I saw someone`s face, full of hurt, and I knew they were thinking of him, wondering how and where is he and how he`s dealing with everything.

Esme had the hardest time – after all, Edward was like her own son.

– How are you today? – Carlisle asked one morning about a week ago.

– I`m fine, thank you, dear. – She nodded and smiled to her mate.

I eyed Jasper, he was sitting under the stairs and reading something; he looked back at me and shook his head – he sensed Esme`s feelings and he knew she`d just lied. But moments like this were our daily routine.

Even Rose was upset; though she didn`t like Bella, she felt sorry for her. And Emmett wasn`t so hyperactive anymore. Once he told me:

– Y`know, I really miss her bad humour and the times she blushed and did other human stuff – it was so fun to look at her back then. – He chuckled, sighed, then turned serious again and started to stare at the ceiling; there were obvious pain in his eyes.

Jasper felt very bad. He didn`t stop thinking it`s his fault everyone is suffering, especially Edward. He wouldn`t stop blaming himself for attacking Bella, no matter what I did.

As for myself, I must say that it was an enormous temptation to look into her future to see if Bella was ever gonna be together with us again. But I had made a promise to my brother and I didn`t want to break it just like that. It was the least I could do for Edward. But sometimes I got some flashes of her. Mostly nothing special, but enough to make me wish I could go back in time and change everything.

We didn`t hunt so often anymore, now that there were no more human beings around us. When we hunted, we usually went only with our partners. That meant I was with Jasper.

This was our hunting turn.

– You ready, Jazz?

He flew down the stairs and put his arms around me.

– Let`s go.

We ran out the door and across the lawn with brownish-yellow grass. We reached the woods and ran a bit longer until we got to a hill. From the top of the hill we listened carefully to the sounds of this forest. I heard Jasper taking off to north-east; he had found and elk. I smiled to myself – he was always in such a hurry to get back, though we actually had nothing to do and nowhere to go; days went by, but they were all the same, with no difference. I breathed in through my nose and smelled a big cat. Something stung me in the area of my once-beating but now completely silent heart and I remembered: Edward liked mountain lions the best. I sighed and headed to north where the lion was at. While running to get the animal, I heard Jasper`s silent steps – he was following me. I ran under a low branch of a white fir and saw the cat. I`d just need one second to kill the creature. Just as I was about to jump on the back of the mountain lion, a flash took me by surprise – a vision was coming. I heard the animal noticing me and going to run away, but Jazz was faster – he broke its neck so I could finish it later. And then I didn`t see the trees anymore. It was Bella.